Tuesday, January 1, 2008

The kids met at the Zechiel house in Lake Forest this morning around 8:00a, where breakfast was served (orange juice, scrambled eggs and pastries).

That's Alex, Amanda, Mary, Eric, Aaron, John and Victor all crowded around the nook table.

In the few minutes between the time that this photo was taken and the following, one member of this crew managed to change into their PJs.

Eric, Mary, John, Alex, Aaron, Victor and Amanda prepare to depart in the Jeffersonsmobile.  They hit the road at 8:36a, six minutes behind schedule.

Note that Victor isn't wearing a jacket.  About an hour after the kids had left, my wife and I were straightening up the family room when we came across a black jacket that we didn't recognize.  A call to Alex's cell phone confirmed that it belonged to Victor.

If someone out there in Jefferson's Land has an extra jacket that they can let Victor use (he seems to be a medium), we promise to send it back once everyone returns to California.

The following message arrived via e-mail about 12:30a California time. I have decided not to edit it in any way, because if I were to start, I wouldn't know where to end.  There were a number of images also accompanying this text, I will post the ones that won't waste your time to see.

Once upon a time, we left for Jefferson's.  First, it was really windy on the I-15.  We saw many trucks tipped over on their side on the shoulder of the highway.  There's a lot of nothing in California.  We should sell it to Arizona.  After going on the I-40 and seeing nothing for a long time, we crossed into AZ and soon entered Kingman, AZ where we ate at the best Taco Bell ever.  Mary will contest this, but John and Victor feel that it was truly superior to most other Taco Bells.  Also, Eric was there.

We then left, and Victor drove and drove, until it got dark.  He drove all the way through AZ, past Meteor Crater, all the way to Gallup, NM.  When we passed through Flagstaff, AZ, there was snow on the ground, but it was clear weather.  Once we got to Gallup, everyone stopped at Arby's, Eric too.  We got an amazing amount of food that totaled around $55.  The order was slightly messed up, but when you order that much food, what can you expect?  Also, Alex got jalapeno poppers.

John took over driving at this point, and we soon encountered Dratchmaster McDicklick, who was driving a Buick Rendezvous and followed us on the Interstate for a few miles shining his highbeams at us for no apparant reason other than he's a gigantic douche.  We will overcome his douchebaggery.  Eric helped by staving off a velociraptor with his bare hands.

It was at this time that it really began to get cold.  There was ice on the inside of the windows of the van to the point where Schmidt was able to make a small snowball and throw it at Mary.  Victor has become a stork.  We stopped in at a Days Inn in Amarillo, TX, where we write you now.  John was attacked by Jack Nicholson in the form of a steam ghost while checking in to the hotel.  It is really really cold here.  Really cold.  The yellow sign is the entrance to NM.  Everything here is yellow, because Amarillo means yellow in Spanish.  Also everything is Spanish and more grande.  Peace out, y'all!  Love ya,

Sincerely,

Al Gore
First Emperor of the Moon, and Inventor of the Environment

Cousins Mary and Alex on the first leg of the trip.

Amanda's expression says, "Was it really necessary to wake me?"

Mary, Victor, Eric and John try to pretend it's not cold at this filling station.

I do believe this crew would have stopped to spend a couple hours here if waitress Kristen would serve them.

Alex, John, Eric, Aaron and Amanda.  Victor must be driving, and Mary is the photographer.

Eric poses with Amanda and Mary, who are caught smirking.

Victor snarls for the camera.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

We left Amarillo at 7:30am.  The steam ghost said goodbye.  We departed out of an icy driveway, though the roads were totally dry.  We had continental breakfast at the Day's Inn, which Mary thought was the best thing ever because they had tiny bagels.  Victor drove at first, and we drove straight through OK stopping only once at the border of OK/AR to get gas and Wendy's.  By the way, did you know that the punishment for jaywalking in Oklahoma is to be blasted out of a cannon through a windmill and have your entrails fertilize the land?  It's brutal, but necessary.

We drove all the way through AR and Victor spoke on the phone to Bill Clinton at the Wendy's.  Then we went through a corner of TN, saw Memphis and Elvis, got some more gas, then went on to a smaller state highway that would take us down to Alabama through Mississippi.  We crossed Butthatch river three times, and we saw a sign for "Flick's Restaurant," but from far away, the "l" and the "i" looked like something entirely different.  Then, we missed a turn, and the GPS redirected us away from Birmingham and on a highway 278 (I think) all the way to Gadsden.

We meet Jeff Ninnytitcher tomorrow.  As we approached Gadsden, the excitement was in the air.  We ate a Waffle House where everyone was really friendly and it was really good, and they acted like our trip made way more sense than it did.  It was weird.  We then left the Waffle House, and it was time for the moment of truth.  We drove three miles and came upon one of the five and only Jefferson's Restaurants.  There was a weird beardy guy sitting in a van nearby.  Was it the return of Dratchmaster?  We think so.  ><  He was sitting in a rapevan, but it had windows?  Tinted windows.  *suspicious eyebrow raise*

We took some pictures in front of Jefferson's, Victor freaked out and his voice got like a little girl, (which we have video evidence of), oh yeah, and Victor spilled honey mustard under the back seat.  Alex managed to stick his hand in it, and it turned our Risk game into a honeymustard edition.  Then we arrived at the hotel, and John, Victor, and Alex, and Schmidt, had a harrowing showdown with Jack Nicholson in the form of a ghost cat.  It was really really intense, like camping.  Alex freaked out and jumped on top of a counter.  Those eyes man.  The whole thing was captured on video in night vision.  We will go to Jefferson's tomorrow at eleven.  We're looking forward to it.  Adios, friends.

Sincerely,

Morgan Freeman, Eddie Griffin, and Scatman Crothers, collectively

Aaron and Alex look like they could use some more sleep in Amarillo.

Aaron with the GPS computer for this leg of the route.

Mary does not seem to be enjoying the trip as well as everyone else.

Alex considers joining the navy while dispensing gasoline.

Eric, Mary, Alex, Amanda and Victor grab some junk food for the road.

Alex, Amanda, Eric, Aaron and Mary in the legendary Waffle House.

John, Alex, Mary, Victor, Eric and Amanda finally get to Jefferson's, only to find it's closed.  It seems that only Aaron had the good sense to come back during business hours.

Aaron meets the glowing-eyed ghost cat.

The ghost cat attacks Alex.

Again.

And yet again...

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Oh my goodness!  What a day, what a day!  This was incredible.  Let us begin:

We got up at our hotel in Gadsden, and drove the mile or so back to the restaurant, where we waited about 15 minutes for the store to open.  Meanwhile, we noticed a cafe next door which was obviously run by Dratchmaster.  We saw many misguided souls enter this cafe.  One lady was wearing an obnoxiously loud sweater, which we think is telling of the kind of people to eat at Dratchmaster's cafe.

In any case, the restaurant opened up, and the moment of truth arrived.  We walked inside and met our waitress, Lauren, the second-hottest, second-coolest waitress, (with Kristin being the only one better than her).  We were the first ones in but it filled up rather quickly.  The walls were covered in sports pennants and one dollar bills, all of which were decorated.  The waitressing staff knew we were coming and seemed rather impressed that we'd made it all the way from California.  We ordered our food (Mary was particularly impressed with the crushed ice) and (oh my goodness, yes!), we got free T-shirts, (everyone got either camoflauge or blackoflauge) and then the food finally arrived.  It was delicious.  We ordered a lot of stuff, but in essence, we got burgers and sandwiches, which were excellent.  At this point, the waitress asked us when we were arriving in Rome, which led us to believe that something big was going to happen there.  Oh, did it ever, but that is yet to come.  We paid with two dollar bills, which they thought was awesome, and we left a two-dollar bill decorated on the wall, which read "OCJC" which stands for Orange County Jefferson's Crew, and it was unique because it was the only two-dollar bill on the wall (all the others are singles).

We said goodbye, and got back in the van, and drove the half hour to Jacksonville, where we had some of the most awesome wings ever.  This location was the original Jefferson's, it was sort of small compared to Gadsden's, but still completely awesome.  Our waitress, Joy, was nice, but quiet.  After we had our buffalo and BBQ wings, we took some photos (the bathroom was particularly interesting to us) and we departed for Rome.

We drove about an hour into Georgia, which was on our mind, through backcountry roads.  It was not like Orange County, California.  As we approached Rome, the excitement grew because we knew something big was going to happen, and we were about to meet Jeff Ninnytitcher in the flesh.  We opened the door, and were greeted instantly with "Hey!  The California Kids."  This was immediately followed by "What happened with the ghost cat?" which we thought was absolutely the most incredible thing we'd ever heard.  It had turned out that everyone had been following our trip online.  The following people were there: The owners of the Belleville Jefferson's - Patti and Jim; and the owners of Rome Jefferson's - Noreen and Chad.  Jeff Ninnytitcher had not arrived yet.  In the meantime, we spoke to Patti who talked to us all about our trip.  She had been following it, and was thrilled.  It was as if she understood completely all of our inside jokes.  We began to look at the menu, and then we heard the door open.

It was Jeff Webb, but as he walked in, Patti immediately shouted out, "Hey, it's Jeff Ninnytitcher!"  This was another surprise, because we didn't know anyone else knew about his name.  Jeff was awesome.  And we stand corrected: Jeff Ninnytitcher is not, has never been, and will never be a gigantic douche.  He is frickin' incredible.  He was delighted we had made it, and asked us all about our trip.  He also gave us permission to call him Jeff Ninnytitcher.  He said we call him anything we wanted to since we came from California.  We ordered our food and then chatted a while about anything and everything.  They said the press might be at the Belleville Jefferson's, so we will see.  The food here was also incredible, even the fried pickles which were gobbled up in seconds, to Eric's dismay.  We met our cook later, JT, who told us to tell him if any other cook at any of the other Jefferson's was better, and he would hunt them down and beat them up.  We got a picture of Jeff Ninnytitcher standing by the back of the van doing "the Steve."  They all signed a Jefferson's T-shirt for us, which we plan on framing and hanging in the hallway at home.  They got us a huge discount on our meal, and we once again paid with $2 bills and the Jefferson's dollar coin.  Our waitress was amused and mentioned that she couldn't wait to see the face of whoever cashed her out that evening.

When it was time to leave, the goodbyes seemed to last about half and hour.  There were hugs and an overwhelming sense of melancholy that such a joyous union was ending.  We hopped in the car, and as we did, Jeff Ninnytitcher drove by and honked his horn like nine times, and drove off into the sunset.  We didn't buy gas at Citgo, because they're Communists.  We went to a Marathon to buy gas.  Then it was time for the 500 mile journey to St. Louis.  We were going to walk 500 miles, we were going to walk 500 more, just to be the men who'd walk 1000 miles to fall down at Jefferson's door, but it was too cold outside, so we drove instead.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Day 4:

We awoke to a freezing cold Belleville.  Actually, it was right outside of Belleville in O'Fallon, IL.  We arrived at the Jefferson's very shortly after they opened, and once again, it proved to be a remarkable experience.

Immediately after we pulled into the parking lot, the owner's son, Little Jim, greeted us outside as we were taking pictures.  We walked inside and could tell that this was the newest Jefferson's due to the insufficient number of dollar bills pasted all over the walls.  After we were seated, our waitress, Monica, who was from Riverside, took our order, at which point a reporter from the local Belleville newspaper approached us.  He was very friendly and interested in our trip and had been following the website.  He asked us all sorts of questions and took notes intently.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

The kids arrived home safely at 2:00a Sunday morning. I will post pictures and commentary of the last day after everyone gets a good night's sleep.

After sleeping for four hours, we were on the road again. It was much warmer down in southern Texas, and we were all glad for that. Though we were pretty exhausted, we journeyed on, determined that we would complete the epicness of our quest: five Jeffersons, 5,000 miles, five days.  It just doesn't sound as good if it's six days, you know?

We stopped for lunch around 2:00p central time at a Dairy Queen in the tiniest little Texas town.  It was really a "one horse" town - not like Gallup *rimshot* - but it was still very small, and it was evident by the people working behind the counter that working in a fast food restaurant in a town that size will destroy your vivacity for life.

It was also while we were here that we hijacked an unprotected wireless Internet connection in the parking lot of a Day's Inn in order to send home Day 4 commentary and check the newspaper article which had been written about us.  We were all pretty jazzed about that and it gave us a little more energy in the long drive home.

From there, we drove and drove and drove, making a few stops along the way, and finally got to Tucson, Arizona, where we met John, Alex and Mary's aunt and uncle and cousin at a Waffle House for the last meal of the trip.  They were very kind and picked up our dinner for us, for which we are all very grateful.  We discussed with Meg and Reid the best way to get home, whether we should take the I-10 all the way to LA or if we should take the I-8 through San Diego.  While Reid recommended the 10, Meg said we should take the 8.  After consulting with our GPS, we decided to take Meg's advice.

Also, at this Waffle House was the last sighting of Dratchmaster, who was sitting at the counter and was looking particularly beardy.  We have video footage.

From there we took off, crossing the California border shortly after and pulling off once to get gas and slurpees.  We encountered Jack Nicholson one last time in the form of a fog ghost traveling through the mountains east of San Diego, but we made it home safely.  Nearer to San Diego, we hit the first real rain of the trip, which was kind of ironic, considering we had been expecting bad weather the entire time in the rest of the country, and we didn't get rain until we got back to our sunny home state.  C'est la vie.

We scampered home up the Interstate 5, and pulled into the Zechiel's driveway where our welcoming party consisting of David, Jessica, and Eleanor (John's girlfriend) were awaiting their arrival.  When all was said and done, we'd made the news paper, driven nearly 5,000 miles, and done what so many people had said was impossible.  It's going to be difficult to come up with encore to such a fantastic trip, but if we know this group of friends, one will be sure to come eventually.

Also, Mary never did pwn John and Schmidt's level like a nubnub.  :'(

With love,

OCJC!
AZ VW AS EZ JZ AC MW

Mary (and Amanada in the following image) snooze on the long haul home.

Mary and Victor seem happy to be on the way home.

Alex so intent on "pwning" John's and Aaron's "Digging Jim" game that he totally missed the St Louis Gateway Arch.

The final sunset of the road trip takes place behind Victor in New Mexico.

The gang meets up in a Waffle House in Tucson, Arizona with John, Alex and Mary's Aunt Meg, Uncle Reid and Cousin Mark for the last real meal of the trip.

The main instigator and planner of the road trip, John Zechiel, pulls into the Zechiel garage at 2:00a Sunday morning.

The last photo taken of the crew, a little worse for wear, who soon split up to get some seriously needed sleep.

About half of the junk found on the floor of the van while cleaning it out.